12 Sep Gloria
I kept my maiden name thanks to a woman named Gloria. “You can’t change it,” she had adamantly stated. I could sense her seriousness, her passion about this, her belief that this absolutely could not happen, and I listened.
You might think Gloria was an advocate for women’s rights, a leader of a feminist movement. But no, Gloria was a clerk at the Albuquerque social security office.
It had been a little over a year since I had gotten married. I had been profoundly ambivalent about a name change. At the time I got married, my career had begun, and I already had a significant number of publications written under my maiden name.
Yet, I liked the idea of unity within a family name. And I had always struggled with the last name my parents had given me—one that combined my mom’s last name “Force” with my dad’s last name “Himes.” They had gifted their three children with this unique name, but it came without the gift of a hyphen that might have increased people’s ability to pronounce it. “Force…like Air Force,” I would say, “…no, not ‘chimes’ like bells ringing; there is an E in it.”
So, I decided on change. The timing seemed right. I was eight months pregnant, and I liked the idea of having the same name as my soon-to-be-born daughter. At this stage in my pregnancy, I was uncomfortable, generally grouchy and only wanted to sit. Over lunch, I walked into the social security office and took a number. 76. They were on 23. All the seats were taken. No one felt the need to move. Finally, a seat opened up. Another pregnant woman was headed toward the seat. I assessed who looked more pregnant. I win, I thought. I glanced toward her, toward my bigger stomach, and then sat down victorious. Three more hours went by.
Finally, I sat down in front of the clerk and told her I would like to change my name. I pulled out my social security card, my driver’s license, and a copy of my marriage certificate. Gloria glanced at my paperwork and tapped the copy of my marriage license. “We don’t accept copies,” Gloria said.
“What?” I replied, stunned.
“You can’t change your name with a copy,” she said.
“Well can’t you make an exception? It’s a good copy. Please?”
“YOU CAN’T CHANGE IT.”
I walked out and never went back.
Alyssa Forcehimes
(That’s F as in Frank…FORCE…like Air Force or May the Force be with you…Himes is H-I-M as in Mary, E, S as in Sam…)