04 Dec ‘Tis the Season for Self-control
In Walter Mischel’s famous 1960s marshmallow experiment, hungry 4-year-old children were brought into rooms and seated in small chairs at a table. A single, perfect marshmallow was put on a plate in front of them. The researchers told the children if they could wait 10 minutes without eating the tempting marshmallow, they would get two marshmallows. Then the researchers left the room.
Oh, the agony! Some children barely heard the door click behind the researchers before stuffing the entire marshmallow in their mouth. Other children slowly inched their fingers toward the marshmallow and began picking off tiny pieces, slowly whittling the marshmallow down until nothing was left. Almost all the marshmallows were gobbled up well before the 10 minutes were over.
About 10 to 15% of the kids, though, were able to wait. But how? When the researchers asked these children how they were able to do it, they all said they decided they were going to wait and then had focused on other things and forgot about the marshmallow. One child imagined a picture frame around the marshmallow to make it more like an untouchable photo, then pretended to play the piano on the desk, making up an entire song about marshmallows. One little girl covered the marshmallow with the plate and then began coloring the plate with a detailed drawing of a rainbow. Another said he pretended the marshmallow was made of something inedible, pushed it away and began reading a book.
Unlike the children who described as trying and trying not to eat it – until the temptation became too great – the children who successfully refrained had decided ahead of time and figured out an enjoyable way to distract themselves.
Saying, “I’m not going to do this… I’m not going to do this…” often results in, “Oh, shoot, I did it.” Deciding in advance, then distracting ourselves in a way that is enjoyable and satisfying, helps us strengthen self-control. After all, the goal shouldn’t be a life without marshmallows – just a way to have more thoughtful control over our choices.