11 Aug Flex and Reflex
A friend of mine is very interested in strength training and is always finding new, creative ways to train. She recently decided to incorporate something called tire flipping into her home workout routine. Some of you may be aware of this technique, which often appears in Strongman competitions. Standing behind a giant tractor tire, someone bends down in a low squat, grips the side of the tire that is lying flat on the ground and then pushes it over so it falls flat on the other side.
My friend told me the story of how she went to a tractor store and bought a big, heavy tire. She brought it home and the next day, she hauled it into her front yard to begin her first workout. In a deep squat, she gripped the tire, got under it and proceeded to flip it over. She was already drenched in sweat, her face red from the effortful strain, her muscles flexed, letting out a heavy grunt with each attempt. She was on her third flip when she noticed her neighbor standing with his hands on his hips across the street, watching her with a scowl and a frown.
“You know,” her neighbor called out, “It would be a whole lot easier to move that tire if you put it on its side and rolled it.”
Offering advice is often a reflexive, natural tendency when we see a problem. The impulse to help may come with the best of intentions. It is a powerful result of the belief that we must fix or persuade for a person to do what is best. Typically, we get just enough information to think we know how someone might do better. Then we feel compelled to offer a solution:
“Why don’t you try…”
“It would work best if you…”
“I think…”
“What I would do is…”
It’s tough to refrain from sharing our ideas. Yet, seeking to fix before seeking to understand often gets in the way and results in people responding defensively. Though this tendency is reflexive, we do have the ability to pause and choose a more helpful way to respond. What are some ways you keep your helping reflex from getting in the way of accurate understanding?