26 Oct Terrifyingly Brave and Fearlessly Herself
“Become who you are. Become all that you are. There is still more of you – more to be discovered, forgiven, and loved.” – Carl Jung
The Halloween costume website was open on my phone. Emma was sitting next to me and we were making our way through the categories of costumes – TV and movie themes, animals, superheroes and occupations. We were now on the last category of “scary costumes.”
Emma had considered and rejected everything so far – no to a scary witch, no to a skeleton pirate, no to a ghost bride.
As I clicked on the zombie nerd costume, Emma pushed her chair back and stood up. “It’s too hard to find a costume. I’m just going to dress up as myself.”
I found myself pushing back, suggesting other ideas. I trotted after her, holding up my phone to show her costumes I thought she might like. I stuck the phone in front of her to show her another idea as she read a book on the couch.
She shook her head forcefully to each one. “I’m going to be myself,” she said.
As I thought about it later in the evening, I realized it was a good reminder of acceptance.
It’s not just on Halloween that we encourage the act of becoming something or someone else. It’s easy, almost reflexive, for us to view others (especially those we care about) through a lens of correction and judgment – focusing on what could be improved. And though we do this with the best of intentions, efforts to control or shape that process often get in the way of letting people be exactly who they are.
So, in a few days, at dusk, we will walk among the goblins and ghosts and skeletons as we make our way around our neighborhood.
If you happen to see us walking, Emma won’t look very scary. She will likely have her hair in a bun on the top of her head, with a few wispy pieces sticking out after a day full of running and doing cartwheels. She will probably be wearing a tank top and a skirt in the silky athletic fabric that she likes. And she will have some white sneakers on her feet, covering her favorite green-and-white socks with eyeballs over the toes that make her feet look like frogs.
Because this is Emma being Emma. Being true to herself.
Carl Jung once said “the most terrifying thing in the world is to accept oneself completely.”
In those streets full of people dressed in their scariest costumes, one little girl will stand among them, terrifyingly brave and fearlessly herself.