08 Mar A Little Goes a Long Way
“Way too spicy!” Emma said as she put her spoon down and pushed her bowl away. She reached for her glass and gulped down water.
I had followed the recipe for the soup precisely, stirring in the exact, leveled amount of chili flakes along with the other ingredients.
The soup had been cooking all day. I was looking forward to the ease of dinner time — simply ladling soup into bowls, with a kitchen free of pots and pans and messy counters.
As the soup bubbled and the spicy aroma filled the house, I hadn’t even considered the possibility of the chili flakes being too much, especially since the picture accompanying the online recipe showed two little boys smiling and holding their spoons with big bowls of the soup in front of them.
Ella also pushed the soup away, making a face after a small bite. Emma was still gulping down water. My husband, who enjoys spicy food, was clearly trying to not hurt my feelings when he said, “It certainly will clear out our sinuses!”
It was simply too much.
And it couldn’t be fixed. As much as I tried to reduce the spice by adding cream and cheese and everything else Google suggested, the fact was that it was a pizza ordering kind of night.
As I ate my slice of pizza, I thought of the way I had forgotten one of the helpful rules of cooking: when adding salt and spice, it’s much easier to add than subtract. Add a pinch and then adjust it from there, layering in additional seasoning to taste. You can always add more as needed. But if you add too much, it’s hard to fix.
The over-addition of spice in the soup recipe reminded me of one of the helpful strategies for effective communication. We tend to overdo it by giving too much information or unsolicited advice in a conversation — especially when talking with people considering change. This can lead people to become defensive, unmotivated and disengaged.
A reciprocal flow of information, however — similar to the repeated process of tasting and adding the spice in the soup — leads to a more positive experience, an artful exchange that increases the likelihood that people will understood and benefit from the information we have.
Like chili flakes in a (failed) recipe for soup, it’s a good reminder that a little goes a long way when it comes to offering information and advice.