25 May Lots of Little Steps
“You’re going to be gone for three whole days?” Tears were running down Emma’s cheeks. She was not at all pleased about my upcoming work travel.
“If you’re not here, you won’t be able to take me to school or pick me up or help with my homework. We can’t have dinner all together, and you won’t be there when I’m going to sleep for so many nights…”
It was all feeling so big and overwhelming.
Emma came over to sit in my lap while we talked. She was wearing her favorite daily accessory—a stack of elastic hair ties in different colors—on her left wrist.
“I have an idea,” I said. “How many hair ties do you have on your wrist today?”
She wiped her tears and counted nine total elastic bands.
“What if you thought about each of these hair ties as one part of each day?” I suggested.
“This one is the morning today. This one is the afternoon. This one is tonight.” I touched each elastic band as I spoke.
“Whenever that part of the day is finished, you can move a hair tie to your other wrist. And then do that for each of the three days. When put your arms next to each other, you’ll always know how much time has passed and how much time is left until mom comes home.”
Later that evening, I received a one-line email from Emma: 2 hair ties are on my right hand.
When I talked with her the next day, she was happy to tell me there were more on the right than the left.
On the left wrist, each hair tie became a manageable next step for Emma. On the right wrist were reminders of the progress that had been made.
Small goals are a helpful way to get unstuck. Lots of little steps can help us get to a better place. And the happiest place of all is home, where a little girl wearing nine hair ties stacked on her right wrist runs and jumps into your arms.