25 Jul Headflix: Stories We Tell Ourselves
“Who are we but the stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves, and believe?” –Scott Turow
Television was limited for the girls when they were little, and nothing made them happier than watching the animated TV show Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood as a special treat.
One evening, after a very big day, Emma asked if she could watch an episode of Daniel Tiger. I told her it was too late and time for bed, and that we could watch TV another night.
She scowled and put her hands on her hips. “Well then, I guess I will just have to watch Daniel Tiger in my head,” she told me.
Emma flopped her head back onto the pillow and scrunched her eyes tightly closed. She was very still.
After some time had passed and I felt certain that she had fallen asleep, I tiptoed over to turn out the light.
Only then did her eyes pop open and she said, “Please don’t do that. I am still awake and I like the lights on. I was just at the part where Daniel was going to help bake a cake, and I am trying to remember if the cake was chocolate or vanilla.”
Reflecting on the power of her imagination to replay a familiar and comforting story, I think of how we all, to some extent, have stories we play and replay in our minds.
The most powerful stories are the ones we tell ourselves. Sometimes we recall the sweet tale of a cartoon tiger helping to bake a birthday cake. But more often, the stories we tell ourselves are ones drawing us back into the past, ruminating on the “If onlys,” wishing there were things we had done differently, and replaying our regrets on a loop. In other stories, we propel ourselves into the future, full of fears and anxiety about the “What ifs.”
Storytelling helps us bring order and meaning to our experiences. Our brains constantly seek validation for the stories we tell them, actively looking for evidence to support the narratives we’ve created in our minds.
When we select stories from our mind’s limitless library, it’s important to choose them wisely and narrate them with accuracy and compassion.
These stories shape our lives.
We believe these stories.
We become these stories.