10 Apr Genuine Warmth
There’s a little coffee shop in Chicago that writes messages on the cardboard sleeves of their cups. Have a beautiful day. The world is better because you’re in it. Hope something wonderful finds you today. Each one is written in a different hand, with a different pen. Sometimes they are embellished with a heart or flower. You can feel it when they pass it across the counter with a smile—like it was written just for you. I’ve saved a few over the years, tucked into my backpack as quiet reminders that kindness doesn’t have to be big to matter.
Recently, Starbucks’ new CEO announced a mandate to bring back handwritten messages on cups—an attempt to recreate the feel of a cozy, community-centered shop. This past week, I stopped by the same Starbucks a few days in a row, and each time, “good morning” was written across the top rim of my cup. Same words, same rushed handwriting. As if the Sharpie had moved assembly-style across dozens of cups just like mine. I could picture how it happened as part of the early-morning setup. Brew the coffee. Arrange the pastries. Fill the napkin dispensers. Write a phrase in Sharpie on a stack of cups. It is meant to feel personal. But they don’t. Not quite.
Because it’s not the gesture that makes something feel personal. It’s the intention behind it.
We’ve all seen what happens when behaviors meant to create connection are reduced to tasks. When warmth gets flattened into a formula. Say someone’s name three times during a conversation. Smile into a mirror before answering the phone. Nod while they’re speaking. These tips show up in training manuals and soft skills workshops, promising to build connection through technique. And sometimes they do. But only when the heartset is there. Without it, people feel the hollowness.
Humans know the difference between something that’s real and something that’s required.
The moments that stay with us are never the ones that follow a script. They’re the ones where someone meant it. Where care wasn’t part of the checklist—it was part of the person. It lives not just in the message, but in the messenger.
That’s what we carry with us. Not the handwriting. The humanity.