19 Jun When Someone Sees You
When Ella was little, she received a sweet little doll as a gift. In the first few days, I watched her carry it gently, getting to know her new friend. She’d sit the doll on her lap and ask, “Do you want me to read you a story?” or “Would you like me to pat your back?” It was as if she understood the privilege of becoming the keeper of this tiny doll and wanted to stay close enough to learn who the doll was.
I thought about that doll recently when I learned something beautiful about the human eye. The word pupil comes from the Latin pupilla, meaning “little doll.” It refers to the tiny reflection of yourself that you see when you look closely into another person’s eyes. It’s a reminder that when we are truly present with someone, we don’t just see them; they, too, are able to see themselves, reflected back in the pupils of our eyes.
That’s what listening well is, at its heart. It’s not about having the most perfect words or identifying with someone’s experience. It’s about staying close. It’s becoming the kind of person someone can trust with their hopes, fears, or a piece of their story not yet fully formed. Like Ella, who took time to learn who her doll was so she could care for her, we too become keepers of the “little doll” inside each person we speak with, trusted with the reflection they’ve offered us to hold.
We all carry this desire to be seen, heard, and understood. And when someone listens like a mirror, helping us see ourselves more clearly, it helps us understand who we are. It’s a gift to catch sight of our own reflection in someone else’s eyes and realize we were there all along.