16 Oct When Care Becomes Collective
In the nature video I’m watching, a large snail shell washes ashore. One curious-looking hermit crab finds it first, circling and tapping, testing the edges and poking its head inside. Soon another crab joins, and then another. They circle each other, examining sizes, until a line begins to form on the sand. The largest crab waits patiently at the front, the smallest at the back.
And then it begins. The biggest crab abandons its old shell and scampers into the new one. Immediately, the whole line is in motion. Each crab slips into the shell just vacated, one after another, until all of them have traded up. What started as a shell too big for anyone becomes, through this quiet exchange, a gift for all.
It is practical and efficient, but it looks like more than survival. There is a charge in the air as they move in sequence, a shared rhythm that feels almost like joy, the energy of being in a group with a shared purpose.
We talk often about self-care as a way to promote well-being. Taking a long walk to clear your mind. Curling up with a good book. Treating yourself to something that feels indulgent. Putting your phone away and protecting quiet time that belongs only to you. Self-care is the practice of tending to your own needs so you can return to the world more steady and whole.
But watching the crabs, I thought about another kind of care. Not the question “What’s best for me?” but “What will benefit us all?” This is collective care. Supporting one another. Sharing what we have. Cultivating relationships that help carry us through. Creating conditions where everyone can breathe a little easier. Recognizing that happiness is, at its core, a social experience.
Self-care restores us individually. Collective care sustains us together. And sometimes, when we move in rhythm and make space for one another, something else awakens. A sense of connection. A spark of joy. The deep fun of solving problems together.
On the sand, the crabs carry on. Their little dance is both ordinary and extraordinary. A reminder that the space we make for each other becomes the space that sustains us all, whether on a beach, in a family, or in the small communities we build every day.