11 Jun Good to See You
We go to the same pizza place almost every Friday night.
The girls have declared it the best pizza in the world, a title that they guard carefully, considering everything from the sauce to the crust thickness to the type and amount of cheese. It’s a neighborhood spot with a wood-fired oven, a mix of classic and slightly more interesting pizzas, and a steady stream of people coming through the door. There are often new people working, enough movement that it’s often a new face walking toward us after we are seated.
And almost every time they reach our table, the server offers a warm smile and says, “Welcome in. Have you been here before?”
I know it’s coming. I can feel myself brace for it as I watch them approach our table.
“We have,” I say with a smile.
Because we have been here before. So many times, I’ve lost count.
I know it’s a small thing. It doesn’t change the taste of the pizza. It has no effect on the fun our family has on a Friday night together. But something in that exchange always feels just slightly off, like none of that history is there.
Then one night, this past Friday, a server I hadn’t seen before walked over and said with a smile, “Welcome. It’s good to see you.”
Good to see us? What was this delightful welcome. I felt it immediately. I wanted to jump out of my seat and hug her.
She didn’t know us. Or maybe she had seen us before. It didn’t matter. The words carried something on their own. They made it feel like we were seen, like we were appreciated for being there, even though they could have just as easily been said to someone walking in for the first time. Because whether it’s your first time or your hundredth, it can be good to see someone.
It’s such a small shift.
“Have you been here before?”
“Good to see you.”
There are exchanges like this throughout our day. The way a meeting begins. The first minute of a conversation. The way someone is greeted as they enter a waiting room or a store or a bank. The way a new person is welcomed into a team.
So often these hellos are things we repeat, over and over again in whatever role we are in.
And the funny thing is that when we are on the other side, doing the welcoming, we usually aren’t choosing those words carefully and intentionally. We are thinking about what needs to be covered, what comes next. Yet all the while, the person on the other side is deciding something else. They are figuring out whether our presence feels good. Whether they feel seen. Whether they feel comfortable. Whether they feel valued.
In the beginning of every exchange, there is almost always something we can genuinely appreciate. Something we can acknowledge. Something as simple as letting someone know we’re glad they’re here. That sense carries into everything that follows.
It doesn’t take much.
Think about the ways you meet people throughout your day. What do your first words make possible?